A Break From Bohemia
by Teddyhut
Summary: The Bohos, excluding Benny go to spend a week at a working ranch. They face danger, have fun, and learn how to horseback ride. All pairings cannon, Angel lives. T for language and because its RENT.
1. Well, Here We Are

**Okay, so I wasn't going to post this story until I got finished with mission trip and my cousin's wedding, but I felt like a bit of an idiot with a story sitting in my Word files and nothing happening to it. I'm just warning you now, though, updates are probably going to be pretty far apart. I'm a slow writer, I hope it's worth the wait.**

**During a drive through Oklahoma I was looking at all the ranches and stuff and listening to 'Seasons of Love' and suddenly came up with this idea. The plot line is pretty simple: the bohos go spend a week at a working ranch and sort of get their butts kicked by the lifestyle. Pairings are cannon, characters may act OOC at times.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT or any of the characters from RENT. The only character I own is Eric. Also, please pardon my mistakes if I say something stupid that doesn't relate to ranches. I've never really worked at one, but I think I've done enough research to write about one pretty accurately.**

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"Well, here we are."

"Yep. Here we are," Joanne muttered, agreeing with Roger.

The group of seven bohos stood in front of a wooden gate that was connected to a barbed wire fence. For a while nobody else spoke, just took in the scenery. As far as the eye could see there was nothing but sandy, dusty hills and scrubby looking grass. A herd of cows grazed in the distance, but other than that there was no visible movement in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere.

"Oh, come on you guys!" Maureen said, shuffling her shoes around in the gravely road. "We're lucky my Uncle Rodney's best friend's son agreed to let us stay here for a week. This is going to be fun!"

Joanne stared at her. "Do you really think this was a good idea?" she asked, her eyebrows twitching slightly "Maureen, I'm sure everyone's grateful that you brought us out to your uncle's buddy's ranch, but are you sure this is a good idea?" _Even though there's really no turning back now,_ she thought to herself.

Maureen looked slightly hurt, but before she could reply Mark's voice cut in.

"And here we are in the panhandle of Oklahoma, pinched between the borders of Colorado and Texas. Some would say it doesn't look like much, but hidden by hills of sand there is sure to be a rich bounty of adventure."

"Mark," Roger sighed, "You sound like such a geek. Put that camera away before I put it away for you."

"No," Mark said defensively. "I'm documenting our trip!" He looked at Roger for a moment. "Cowboy," he added.

"Ughhh! Stop calling me that! Just because I'm wearing this stupid hat does not make me a cowboy."

"I think you look wonderful," Mimi said, flicking the brim of his hat with her forefinger. "After all, I picked that hat out." Roger smiled a bit (dispite the fact that he wasn't very happy), but said nothing further.

"Well I think this'll be fun," Angel spoke up finally. "I may be good to get away from the city. A bunch of people say it's good for your health"

"If she thinks it's a good idea," Collins put in, wrapping his arms around Angel's torso.

"See, Roger, they're not being party poopers!" Mimi whined, tugging on her boyfriend's arm. "Why are you so grumpy?"

"They don't have to wear idiotic hats," Roger grumbled, rolling his eyes. Mimi just made a 'hmph' noise in reply.

"Well, let's not just stand around all day. Let's go inside!"

"I agree with Maureen," Collins said, nodding. "Let's get out of the heat. I knew it got hot here in June, but this is crazy." The other bohos murmured agreements and followed Maureen through the gate (which they found to be unlocked) along the dirt and gravel driveway. Joanne proceeded to complain about rocks in her shoes.

When the party reached the house at the end of the lane, they let themselves in. Inside there was little wallpaper or paint on the walls- it was all wooden slats. Nobody seemed to be home, but after a couple minutes Angel found a note on the kitchen table.

_Maureen and Friends:  
Make yourselves at home. You'll have to split up among the two bedrooms upstairs- we've got spare mattresses in the storehouse, but you'll have to wash them off yourselves and put them on the floor. I hope everyone brought a hat and a pair of boots- if not then there's some on the shelves in the back room. Also in there are some bandanas: pick one and tie it around your neck or to a belt loop- you are all wearing jeans, right? After that you can go wait outside on the wooden benches next to the corral. I'll come and give you some instructions there._

_I'm glad I get the opportunity to teach you a few things about how we do things around here.  
-Eric_

Angel read the note aloud to everyone. She began to say something afterwards, but Mark ran her over. "We were supposed to bring all that stuff?" he asked himself aloud. Without another word he grabbed his bag and bounded up the stairs to the bedrooms, presumably to change out of his knee-length khaki pants. Mimi giggled and turned to Roger.

"Now aren't you glad that we bought all that stuff in New York instead of having to borrow it from this guy?"

Roger was honestly thinking about just saying 'no, I'd be perfectly happy borrowing from the back room', but instead settled for a "Yeah, I suppose so." Which seemed to be good enough for Mimi.

Joanne reluctantly decided that they should do something. "I guess that if nobody else has to change their pants, we can all go pick out boots and stuff."

"Yay!" Maureen squeed. "Pookie has finally decided that we're going to have fun here!"

"I never said that. I just don't think we should have to wait for someone- usually you- to make a suggestion before we do something."

"Oh, you're just excited! You can't wait to go have fun with the horsies and the cows and the pigs and-"

"Whoa!" Collins cut in. "Nobody told me we'd have to take care of pigs!"

"Of course, silly," said Maureen playfully. "Every farm has piggies on it!" Everyone but Mimi rolled his or her eyes. Mimi laughed.

"Ohkaylet'sgonowbeforewedosomethingelsestupid," Joanne sighed all in one breath. Without another word she marched to the back of the farmhouse, through a living room decorated in shades of yellow and green and a small dining room to a green door. She tried it- it was open.

The rest of the bohos, minus Mark as he was still upstairs, dropped their bags in a pile in the kitchen and followed Joanne. Angel flipped on a light switch, revealing a dusty room about seven feet square with cobwebs in the corners. On one wall were shelves with boots on them- some just the right size for a six-year-old, some enormous. The wall opposite that was covered in hooks- on each hook was a cowboy hat. On the farthest wall from the door was a set of drawers- presumably for holding the bandanas. Slowly the group filed in, looking for a pair of boots their size or a hat that didn't look absolutely ridiculous. (with the exclusion of Roger and Mimi, who were already prepared and occupying themselves by cuddling in the next room)

After about two minutes Mark came back downstairs in a pair of dark blue jeans and a more fitting shirt. Without a word he began choosing his attire as well. In about ten minutes everyone was dressed to fit Eric's requirements. Roger and Mimi in their previously bought matching white hats, light brown boots, and blue bandanas. Collins had found himself a brown hat with a light gray bandana and boots. Angel had acquired equipment in carefully coordinated shades of red. Mark had picked a classic brown hat and boots with a bandana that vaguely resembled his beloved scarf. Maureen and Joanne had dressed themselves almost opposite of each other. Maureen had picked out a black hat, Joanne's was white. Maureen was wearing an electric green bandana and red boots- Joanne wore classic red around her neck with gray boots. With a sort of unspoken agreement the seven friends marched out the back door and found the corral. They all sat down in silence. For quite a while nobody spoke except for the quiet 'It's so hot out here' that came from Roger. Then, after what seemed like hours but was actually only fifteen minutes, the snort of a horse came from over a hill. A young man, about twenty-five or so, mounted upon a blue roan steed.

"Well, hello there," he called from his position on the hill. "Ya'll must be the city folk Rodney told me about. Welcome to the most beautiful nightmare you can imagine."

--

**There's the first chapter. Reviews are appreciated!**


	2. Which Horse?

**I havn't updated this in a rediculously long time. I hope to be less lazy in the future.**

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"So," Eric said loudly as he cantered up to the group, "How many of you have been on a horse before?" He was a large man who seemed to be in his mid-twenties, with very muscular shoulders, shaggy brown hair that reached about to his jawline, and a rather attractive tan. His chin was shadowed with just a bit of stubble. The only thing really unflattering was the strong scent of dirt and animal that wafted from his denim clothing.

Maureen was the only person who raised a hand. "I did one time when I was fourteen! It was fun."

Eric looked at her for a few moments, then turned to the rest of the group. "So nobody else in this group has ever been on horseback?" The only reply the cowboy got was some nods and indistinct grumbles.

"Alrighty then, I suppose we'll just have to start from the beginning," After quickly demonstrating how to properly mount, dismount, walk, trot, stop, go backwards, and slow down the horses, Eric stared at the group and raised his eyebrows.

"Did everyone get that?" he asked, as if daring any of them to admit they hadn't been paying attention. The bohos nodded hurriedly, and Roger gave the instructor an only half-sarcastic "Yes, sir!"

Eric remained mounted on his horse. "Well, if everyone understands how to work the horses, I'll just put you on some so we can get started. When I point to someone, I want whoever knows him or her best to give me some idea as to their personality, aye? Keep it short and sweet. And don't go blabbering all at once- you all know who'll give the best testimony."

"So we're going to be playing Dr. Phil?" Joanne said skeptically, shifting a bit in her seat on the wooden bench.

Eric turned to the lawyer and made a face. "Unless you want to get trampled on by a horse that hates you. They've got as much personality as you do."

Nobody else argued.

The first to be evaluated was Mark. Roger quickly looked up at Eric. "Well... Mark doesn't really like being around too many people and he sometimes detaches himself from society. He gets lonely and likes to make films."

"Antisocial, eh? That's okay, I know who we can-"

"I am NOT antisocial!" Mark objected loudly, running Eric over.

"Yes you are, Mark," Mimi laughed. "Most of the time you just stare at people from behind your dumb old camera and say more to it than you do to anything living."

Eric didn't really pay any attention to the argument and continued as soon as Mimi finished. "-put you on. You'll be riding the light chestnut Arabian that's grazing out in the field right now. His name's Brad- sometimes needs a firm hand." As soon as he finished he pointed a callused finger at Mimi. "What about Giggles over here?"

"Mimi-" Roger began to speak again, but Angel took an opportunity to speak before he could continue.

"She has an independent spirit but likes to be surrounded by people. Mimi is very loving and likes to joke around."

Eric nodded thoughtfully and said after a moment, "You can take the dun and brindle Kiger Mustang. She's in the barn, I think. Name's Star. She needs lots of attention, but if she likes you I think you'll like her." Next Eric gestured to Angel.

"Angel is very gentle," Mark said quietly before anybody else could speak.

Collins took only a split second to add, "She's wonderful to be around. Sweetest person I ever met." In no time Eric responded.

"Angel, you'll be paired up with Daisy- that's the white horse in the stable right next to Star's. Only white horse we have." After that Eric pointed to Maureen- Joanne and Mark both said the exact same thing at the exact same time.

"Maureen's a diva!" For what seemed like forever the two stared awkwardly at one another. Mark cleared his throat. "But, erm, yeah," he said slowly. 'Maureen is very outgoing."

"She's crazy sometimes," Joanne added, "But very- ehm- loveable. Free spirited."

"Spontaneous," Mark muttered, dragging the uncomfortable moment out even longer.

Again Eric managed to avoid making any comments about the obvious conflict and assigned Maureen to a Paint Horse named Spitfire. Collins, after being psycho-analized wonderfully by Roger and Angel, was put on a black mare named Cinders. Roger, who was described as 'irritable,, not very adventurous, but an amazing friend all at once' by Mark, was going to be riding Brownie, a bay filly with a sneezing problem. And last but not least Eric looked at Joanne. "And what about her?"

Maureen quickly spoke up. "She's kind of a control freak and has to have her way otherwise she gets irritated," the diva announced all in one breath.

"Hey!"

"Oh, come on Pookie, you know it's true. You're possessive sometimes. But I love you," Maureen laughed, giving Joanne a playful nudge. The lawyer said nothing.

"I see," Eric said slowly, nodding. "Well, you can ride Pistol. You two should cooperate pretty well. Pistol's the Pinto gelding grazing out there next to Spitfire. They're cousins, you know."

"Well, if everyone has a horse we can get started. Does anybody here have any idea how to properly tack up a horse?"

"Do what?" Roger asked, genuinely confused about the term.

"'Do you know how to put the saddle on?'," Joanne explained a bit curtly.

The bohos all shook their heads. Nobody knew.

"Fine, fine," Eric sighed. "I'll tack 'em. Right now what I want you to do is go get your beds set up. And _please_ don't put two people who're gonna fight in the same room. I sleep in that house, too." Strangely enough our friends got up and shuffled back inside without conversation. Once they got inside everyone immediately took a seat in the living room.

"I'm tired of him already," Roger announced as soon as Angel walked in last and shut the door. "He's even bossier than Joanne." Mark, Mimi, and Collins all laughed. Maureen had found a small toy that dropped marbles in random patterns down a wooden track and was too occupied to pay attention. Angel was busy looking at the scenery out the window. Joanne just looked at Roger disapprovingly.

"Well, I officially hate it here," Mark announced to nobody in particular. "It's hot as hell."

"I already nearly stepped in a pile of cow shit," Collins put in, making a face.

Nobody else said anything for a while. Roger was still steaming about being told what to do by some tall guy in denim. Mimi was wondering how the rest of the trip would pan out. Angel and Collins were staring intently into each other's eyes, holding a silent conversation that nobody else could understand. Mark was pulling out his camera and staring around for something interesting to film (to little sucess). Maureen and Joanne were curled up back-to-back on a sofa, not really doing anything in particular. After a period of silence Angel looked outside again.

"I think that's the storeroom. We're going to have to make our beds sooner or later, may as well be now." The entire group considered this for a while.

"I suppose Angel's right," Mark said, nodding.

Mimi added, "We came here to do things, didn't we? Not just sit around all day. Let's go, guys." The rest of the bohos either nodded or put in a few words of agreement and crawled out of their chairs. After about an hour all of the sleeping spaces had been sorted out: In one room Angel and Collins shared a queen-sized mattress, and Joanne and Maureen shoved two twin-sized ones together. In the other room had been a bunk bed; Mark took the top bunk, Roger the bottom, and Mimi had plopped a single-sized mattress on the floor. Once everyone was at least somewhat comfortable with where they were sleeping, they went back downstairs. For a while they chattered as usual- until Eric came back inside and announced that the horses were ready. Soon the group was standing outside, each one staring at the group of horses gathered in the corral.

"Who wants to mount first?" Eric asked casually, gesturing to the horses through the open gate.

**In the next chapter we get to see them ride horses. Yay!**


End file.
